Showing posts with label Fayetteville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fayetteville. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Unthinkable: Shaniya Davis' Body Found
The body of 5 year-old Shaniya Davis was found in Fayetteville, North Carolina this afternoon. She had been missing since Tuesday, when her mother reported she disappeared from their home. Since then, a man has been arrested for kidnapping and Shaniya's mother has been arrested for human trafficking and felony child abuse involving prostitution. In other words, her mother is accused of selling her into the sex trade.
Usually when I blog about a situation in the news that gives you a kick in the gut, the reason has to do with our own safety. We lead our lives believing the world is safe, and when something shakes that belief it upsets us. When someone is killed in a mass shooting or a plane crash, it damages our understanding of how the world works as a generally safe place. We know it could have been us, and we feel scared, or we blame, or we push it away. These are all healthy defense mechanisms.
This case is different. Almost no one will learn of little Shaniya Davis and think that it could have been them. Very few of us will worry for the safety of our own children based on what happened to her. We feel no personal connection for her particular circumstances. We don't say, "There but for the grace of God."
But make no mistake about it -- this case very much disturbs a deeply held worldview most of us share. That belief is that everyone understands that children are special and deserve our protection. We know there are people who beat their children. We even reckon, when we have to, with the notion that people sometimes kill their own children. But the idea that someone would sell their own child for sex at the age of 5 goes beyond that. It represents not just anger and disdain for human life. It represents a complete and total disregard for the value of that little girl's life by her own mother. And we don't believe that mothers are supposed to act that way.
Shaniya Davis' murder may not leave us feeling scared, but it does leave us shaken. It overwhelms our ability to understand. We have no convenient space in our minds under which to file this incident. No schema we have allows us to process it. That's what makes it traumatic -- for her father, who allowed her to go live with her mother; for the searchers who found her body; and for all of us who think of parenthood as a sacred trust. This isn't how the world is supposed to work.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Fayetteville, NC: Murder is Murder
A well-respected real estate developer in Fayetteville, North Carolina shot and killed his wife and two teenage children on Monday before completing the act of suicide. As frequent Quarterbackers know, family annihilation murders, as this type of incident is called, are rare but news-grabbing. They follow a particular pattern in which the perpetrator is almost always male, and they may be the culmination of escalating domestic violence, or not.
I first read about this incident on CNN.com, before it was confirmed as a murder/suicide. The article quoted a news release from the Chief of Police which read, in part,
At this time, there is no reason to suspect foul play; however the investigation remains in its early stages.I had to go back and read this several times because I couldn't believe it. "There is no reason to suspect foul play." How could he possibly say that?
I would like to chalk this up to a slip of the tongue. What he meant, obviously, was that there was no reason to believe there was a suspect at large, and that makes sense. He meant that no one else was in danger. Fine. Except that this wasn't a slip of the tongue. It was a written press release. This leaves just two possibilities: that it was an incredibly sloppy job of writing the release coupled with poor or no editing (and this is why you should take your time when you are communicating in a crisis), or that he meant what he said. What if he really meant that a husband and father killing his wife and children does not count as foul play?
You may say that I'm overreacting, and maybe I am. All I have is this one snippet from the release. I don't know this man, nor has he been asked what he meant as far as I know. But I also think that little things like this add up, so that the death of one person seems less tragic, less violent, less important than another. It wasn't really a murder, it was, well something else. And that kind of rhetoric makes it that much easier to look the other way when a family is in trouble.
The New Oxford American Dictionary defines foul play as
unlawful or dishonest behavior, in particular violent crime resulting in another's death.This wasn't "just" a domestic dispute. It was a crime. The fact that the perpetrator is dead does not change that. There was foul play, and this wife and these children deserve the same respect and memorial they would get if they were killed by strangers. Murder is murder.
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Meet the Quarterback
- Naomi Zikmund-Fisher
- is a clinical social worker, former school Principal and a Crisis Consultant for schools and community organizations. You can learn more about her at www.SchoolCrisisConsultant.com
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